istoleyourpanties:

quarterclever:

especiallygoodfinder:

nepeter:

australians dont have sex

australians mate

I spat out my coffee

sorry about your image

frICK

(Source: shalrath)

iguanabones:

first date ideas: show your date to everybody in town… wearing a salmon suit

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(Source: iguanamouth)

cosasystuff:

Remembering that embarrassing thing you did two days ago

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Remembering that embarrassing thing you did last week

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Remembering that embarrassing thing you did two months ago

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Remembering that embarrassing thing you did four years ago

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Remembering that embarrassing thing you did ten years ago

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Remembering that embarrassing thing you did in your past life

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Anonymous: tell us your most embarrassing story

jesusinc:

jesusinc:

So a while back i was at this party and i was the first girl to arrive and there were like 20 guys already there, we were all siting around, having a beer and whatnot when the dj arrived. So all the guys went out the front of the house to help set up the dj gear and it was just me sitting there alone in the backyard for like 5 minuets. I stood up to go follow them bc i was getting really bored when i realized something, my period had gone through my white pants and stained the while chair, i was humiliated, i had no idea what to do, i could hear the guys were coming back and i had to do something quick, time was running out. So i grabbed the chair, ran like 10 meters and threw it over the fence into the neighboring yard, i quickly walked back and tied my jacket around my waist. The guys soon returned and didn’t suspect a thing, i am amazing.

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titty-jpg:

Shoutout to the females that compliment each other, that jealousy shit dead

curtis-ballard:

Your body is made of the same elements that lionesses are built from. Three quarters of you is the same kind of water that beats rocks to rubble, wears stones away. Your DNA translates into the same twenty amino acids that wolf genes code for. When you look in the mirror and feel weak, remember, the air you breathe in fuels forest fires capable of destroying everything they touch. On the days you feel ugly, remember: diamonds are only carbon. You are so much more.

carryonmywincestson:

INTELLIGENCE IS NOT MEASURED IN YOUR KNOWLEDGE OF MATH

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